Had a busy lunchtime debating what makes a man a feminist.
Is it as simple as declaring 'I am a feminist!'?
I wish that declaring something made it true. I'd declare myself a mermaid, a dragon, a lottery winner! The possibilities are endless.
But no. It isn't that easy.
So, can men be feminists? I think they can. There are those who disagree, and that is their right. I don't define feminism for them and they don't define it for me.
This is what is so marvelous about feminism. It's a broad spectrum where ideas are constantly evolving, where debates are constantly happening and minds are constantly expanding.
So yes, I do think men can be feminists.
However, most of them aren't.
Why? Because only someone who has total understanding of how internalized patriarchy holds everyone down can truly be a feminist. In my opinion.
But how can you tell?
Ever see a female mountain climber and think it wasn't fair on her kids? Not a feminist.
Ever think *for even a second* that a victim of abuse asked in some small way for it? Not a feminist.
Use the word cunt as an insult? Nope, not a feminist.
Think it's ok to make sweeping statements about women then excuse it by saying 'this goes for men too!' Hate to break it to you. Nope. Not a feminist.
Now. Here is the biggy.
If a woman calls you out for being a sexist and you shout that you're a feminist and believe in equal rights, then gather women to say that they agree with you then act all smug and suggest that the woman who called you out is the problem rather than LISTENING to WHY that woman found what you said unacceptable. If you refuse to debate and learn something, whether you agree or not, then guess what?
Not. A. Feminist.
The best that you can hope is that with some education you may end up being a feminist ally.
Though until you learn to listen and support women in the way *they* want, you won't be a very good one.
One thing you're not though is a cunt.
Coz THAT is misogynist.